


Title and Registration

by Giantnarwhal



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Sometimes I just wanna slap Hux, but not for long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 22:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14199435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giantnarwhal/pseuds/Giantnarwhal
Summary: He moves on to their closet, and then inside the bathroom. Everything of Kylo’s has been taken. His clothes. The ridiculous amount of hair products threatening to take over Hux’s side of the counter. Everything. He heads to the living room, knowing the couch will be as cold as Kylo’s bedside but still the sight of the empty space intensifies his dread. He was about to continue to the kitchen but something catches his eye.A cassette tape is on the coffee table.





	Title and Registration

Hux wakes up and immediately feels like there’s something wrong.

 

Kylo’s side of the bed is empty, and he lay his hands on it to find it cold. Then he remembers: the fight. The look Kylo gave him. Kylo sleeping on the couch instead of wrapping himself in Hux’s arms like he always preferred.

 

“Kylo?” He calls out but no one answers. The feeling that something’s off intensifies as he scans the room, and then it hits him.

 

Kylo’s things are gone.

 

He stands up then, trying to keep his panic lodged low in his gut so that it doesn't rise up, but his shaking hands give it away.

 

They always fought, but Kylo always comes back to him. Always returns Hux's apologies with kisses. The worse the fight gets the fiercer they make it up later.

 

Last night was different, though.

 

He walks around their bedroom, opening Kylo’s nightstand to find it empty of his lip balm and other items he slathers on himself before going to bed.

 

_“You’re all slimy!”_

_Hux recoils at the feel of Kylo’s lips on his, sticky with some sort of moisturizer._

_“Shut up. If you like my lips soft then you just have to deal with it.”_

 

He moves on to their closet, and then inside the bathroom. Everything of Kylo’s has been taken. His clothes. The ridiculous amount of hair products threatening to take over Hux’s side of the counter. Everything. He heads to the living room, knowing the couch will be as cold as Kylo’s bedside but still the sight of the empty space intensifies his dread. He was about to continue to the kitchen but something catches his eye.

 

A cassette tape is on the coffee table.

 

_“That's a ridiculous and antiquated thing. Totally cumbersome. We already have a Spotify account. When would we use this?”_

_"Come on Hux, that’s the point! Sometimes it's just nice to reminisce. Also the vinyl shop across us sells old cassette tapes and I wanna start collecting.”_

 

He looks to the side table where they kept the cassette player and sees that Kylo left it there. The only thing that was truly his in their home right now. Hux plucks the tape from the table and sees Kylo's messy handwriting on the surface.

 

 || **This side first** ||

 

Hux puts the tape in.

 

* * *

 

 || "Hi Hux, I'm gonna get straight to the point. You know these 'stupid tapes of mine' don't hold a lot of data—" ||

 

It was only last night since he'd heard Kylo's voice but listening to him felt like cool water on a nasty burn. A wound he inflicted on the both of them.

 

|| “—and we've yelled at each other enough already. We both knew this was coming.

  

I'm not coming back. We've had our last shot at this and it blew up in our faces. It always comes back to the same thing. You don't talk to me about anything. You know all of me Hux, yet with you I think I've barely scratched the surface.I do something that frustrates you and you’d rather stay silent until I scream loud enough for the both of us, rather than just tell me what I did wrong. I can't tell what's going on in your mind, and 3 years of guessing is driving me insane.” ||

 

Hux pauses the tape.

 

_Kylo's glass breaks as he grips it too tightly._

_“Jesus, Kylo, you’re ruining your hand! You know I hate it when you act like a child--"_

_Kylo cuts him off, waving his hand around. Drops of blood are flung onto nearby surfaces but both of them are too livid to care._

_"I don't know what you hate, Hux! I keep telling you. Just talk to me! I keep fucking up and I don't know why cause you won't fucking talk!”_

_His voice breaks at the end of the sentence, and that signals Hux to walk forward. He opens his arms and Kylo throws himself at them, hiding his face into Hux's shirt as he paws at it with bloody fingers._

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry"  
"Shush... it wasn't your fault. I'm really trying Kylo, but it's_ _... come on, let's clean up your hand."_

 

Hux shakes his head at the memory. He'd always been reserved, borne from a cold upbringing. The last time he showed any semblance of raw emotion was when he was twelve, weeping at his mother’s funeral. His father caught him and dragged him into his private office. There he’d been on the receiving end of his father’s belt buckle, and by the time his dad was through with him all his tears had dried up along with his voice.

 

Then he met Kylo.

 

It was hard not to miss him when he first entered Hux’s cafe. He was one of the few people he’d met that was taller than him, and one of the fewer people that deigned to push through Hux’s attempts at ending any pursuit of a relationship.

 

A brief fling turned into a serious affair, and a year later they were at Kylo’s packing up his stuff to move into Hux’s home at the second floor of the cafe. Their friends are at a constant state of shock at how long they’ve kept at it. The fights were legendary, and they’ve had to call off a few police inquiries because of the amount of noise they’ve been producing.

 

He’d always thought that Kylo's outbursts are just overreactions, and he’d always find a way to calm him down. He promised to do better but Kylo’s unreturned public displays of affection had always been a sore point in their relationship.

 

Hux didn't know how bad it got.

 

He knew the fight last night was different though. Instead of blowing up, Kylo looked as if he’d collapsed in on himself. He shouldn't have said it. He knew there was a line, but in his anger he leapt over and and now there’s no coming back.

 

Kylo's not coming back.

 

He resumes the tape.

 

|| ”Don’t worry... I'm staying with Phasma for the night, until I get my flight booked. I can't stay here anymore. I'm going home.

For what it's worth, and I don't know why I'm still telling you this, I loved you. I really hope you find someone that you can trust enough to let your guard down. You’d be amazing, and I’m sad that I’ll never get to see that.” ||

 

The tape stops as the first side was exhausted. 

 

Kylo's voice is ringing through his head, weighing him down like concrete around his feet.

 

Loved.

 

He regrets how seldom he told Kylo the same thing, and most of the time it’s just a cursory reply. Hux thinks he can count the number of times he said those words to Kylo without any prompt. Now he fears can’t amend that mistake any more.

 

_They we’re at each other’s throats for the third time this week, but both of them are quickly running out of steam as they hurl the same old barbs at each other. Hux had a long day of managing the cafe below and Kylo crowded in on his space as soon as he walked up the stairs, eager to be close to him. Hux pushed him away, answering monotonously as Kylo asked him about how his day went. Kylo could only handle so much of his dismissiveness and soon he was raising his voice, then Hux barking at him to quiet down lest the neighbors call the police again._

_“Hux, I'm tired of this. You know I don't get mad at you on purpose. Just talk to me, baby."_

_"If you're so tired of me then why don't you just leave? God knows why I haven't left this mess."_

_The words were out before he could take them back. Kylo was approaching to hold Hux, but he stills, his face ashen._

_"Kylo I didn't mean--"_

_"Hux, just... I'm going to sleep on the couch."_

_Kylo leaves the bedroom and even though his brain is screaming at him to follow, to apologise, to kneel and do whatever it takes for Kylo never to look at him like that again, yet he stayed where he was._

 

Hux brings himself back to the present, the pain of what's happening flaring up and being ignited with the hurt of last night.

 

He opens the player, flips the tape over, and replaces it back with the opposite side set to play. He pushes a button and listens to what may possibly be his only way of hearing Kylo's voice again.

 

|| "Baby please let me record it! Come on just say it into the mic."

"No, I've reached my quota for the day."

"Just once, and I won't bother you with it again. I love hearing it, and I love you… and this is the part where you say..."

There's a staticky sigh and then:

"I love you too Kylo.” ||

 

If Hux was aching before now it was a full bodied flame burning him from the inside.

 

Kylo sometimes brings this tape along with him, playing it on his way to work. He usually brings two with him: one an actual album, and this recording. Hux thought nothing of it but now it’s a testament to how much he neglected Kylo’s needs. He wants to be better for him.

 

He knew what he had to do.

* * *

 

 

It was the longest fifteen minutes of his life, but the cab finally pulled over outside Phasma's apartment. Hux practically threw his payment at the driver and hurried out the vehicle, not waiting for the change. Rain soaked through his sweater immediately. He rushed up to the front door and only hesitated for a breath before knocking.

 

He knew who was gonna answer the door. Phasma worked on the weekends, but he still wasn't prepared by the sight of Kylo as the door opens. It looks as if he surprised Kylo as well.

 

Maybe he didn't think Hux would try.

 

Both of them stood there for a moment, eyes locked onto each other, breaths caught in their lungs.

 

Kylo broke the silence first.

 

"I thought you were the cab.”

 

Hux then notices Kylo's clothes. The soft jeans he almost never washes unless Hux confiscates them and throws them into the laundry, and his favorite hoodie. Comfortable clothes for traveling, He also notices the luggage just behind him.

 

"Oh, so you're going now?"

 

Hux is vibrating out of his skin with the need to touch Kylo, and his nod of confirmation finally pushed him to action.

 

Hux takes one step, then another, and suddenly he's in Kylo's space, leaning in to embrace him.

 

"Kylo, I'm so sorry. Please, I'll open up--"

 

Kylo holds the arms trying to wrap itself around him, stilling them, and looks at Hux.

 

"Hux, we need to stop doing this. I'm going away.”

 

"Please don't do this, I need you Kylo. I'm really going to try harder. I know it's not much but please... don't leave. I love you."

 

Hux feels raw, like the words were sandpaper scraping up his throat and out of his mouth. Kylo’s hands are warm, staving off Hux’s damp chill, but not enough to heat his frozen core.

 

"You heard what I said. We've had our chance, and I don't think I can survive another fight Hux. I need this, we both need this.”

 

Hux repeated his words.

 

"I need you, Kylo."

 

"I needed you too."

 

Kylo looks down, embarrassed as if he's the one getting his heart ripped out and flayed bare.

 

Hux lowers his arms, Kylo's words entering his brain but not quite processing them. They always bounced back after fights. Always fixed each other in the morning, kissing like it healed the wounds their words inflicted upon each other the night before.

 

The sound of a car honking at them breaks the spell.

 

"Oh, that's the cab.”

 

Kylo grabs the handle of his luggage and walks past him, carrying it down the steps. He waves away the driver's offer to help in packing them in the trunk.

 

He allows the driver to close the back and looks over to Hux, still standing at Phasma's doorstep.

 

"This is me, then.”

 

"Visit then, don't be a stranger.”

 

The words sound hollow, as does the deep bark of Kylo’s laughter at them. He looks at Hux, and sees that Kylo’s been busy building his own walls.

 

"I wasn't the stranger in the relationship, Hux."

 

With that, Kylo turns away from him and steps into the cab.

 

Hux watches as it goes, the tail lights blurry through the rain, disappearing as it makes a turn.

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a [twitter thread](https://twitter.com/tinynarwhals/status/980485763362992128) that slowly went off the rails.
> 
> This is my first ever fic and I'd like to thank the people on Twitter that encouraged me to flesh it out more and post it here. To be honest the 280 character limit was starting to annoy me. I do still love posting threads though, it kinda forces you to be creative with how you make the most of those characters.
> 
> Special thanks to [@H3llcat](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/H3llcat/pseuds/H3llcat) for reading through this and offering me help because I don't know how to AO3. You saved my life.
> 
> Here's a link to [Title and Registration](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XmbvfxMiUE) by Death Cab for Cutie.
> 
> That song is the source of all this pain.


End file.
